A Working Mom's Life: The questions I ask myself

Answers I don't want to know

Svara

Aug 21, 2022

Dear Reader,

It’s been a few weeks since I wrote to you.

Wish I could have reached out to you sooner.

It's been a hectic summer. Which is why I loved reading this.

In June 2022, another birthday slipped by. I binged on four delicious cakes.

Yes, all thanks to my loving friends! God bless them.

I always believed that I am too old for birthday celebrations.

My teenager planned a midnight celebration to perfection, and this was followed by another delightful surprise - cake cutting and pizza celebration at home.

An honest admission here - the unexpected surprise of birthday celebrations filled me with dizzy joy; the next day’s reality check gently nudging me to remember that I am not young anymore.

As I grow older, my list of regrets continue to play hide and seek with me.

My deepest regret remains that I didn’t have enough time to spend with my son when he was a baby. My struggles, as a working mom, appeal to a universal language and emotion that only working mothers will easily relate to.

If there’s one thing in my life that I wish I could rewind, it is my son’s early childhood years. Now he is 16 years old and I am learning so much from him.

Now I ask myself a candid, painful question: “What did he learn from my choices when I was mostly not there for him?”

I don’t know the answer yet.

A part of me is afraid to figure it out.

Sometimes, aren’t we all a little afraid to find out the answers to questions we seek more clarity on?

Think about the deepest questions tucked away in your heart and whether you are ready to probe it and find out the answers.

Don't let Time steal you away from yourself

Growing older, I've often worried that I don't enjoy the outdoors anymore. People say that it is important to step out, feel the sun and breathe fresh air. There were many years in my young life when the only time I turned up home was to crash on the bed.

When motherhood gently put my soul on track, my life transformed itself forever. While the limitations and flaws teach me to grasp the fact that there’s a long way to go before one can take pride in the parenting journey, this is a universal story of every mother striving for perfection over the tumultous years of motherhood and the huge responsibility of raising a child.

Jiayang Fan @JiayangFan

Not the Chinese immigrant way but I will strive to adopt it if children come my way

Ah, welcome to the working mom’s life.

And I am not sure if this is the right moment to say the truth: Indian moms have it really tough as they are expected to be super women at work and in their homes. They are expected to have ten arms, if not more, to do and manage all the things that a majority of Indian men wouldn’t bother about. That’s the work-family life balance that Indian women have to struggle for every single day of their life.

Spooning my baby next to me, I often felt a sense of awe and wonder and humility that we were two separate beings yet we are one. In a way, motherhood has taught me; this moment is divine, precious and it's my Life.

My World Turned 16

My son’s Class 10 results topped up our joyous celebrations. YES, there is such a thing as ‘After RESULTS’ party for teens who are toppers, among other new things that I am now learning!

A riot of colours invaded our home, followed by bright hues of flowers, congratulatory cards, cake tubs and chocolates!

A new beginning, a new life, a new campus!

We are so excited about this new phase.

My nephew Vihaan joined the teen gang!

July 2022 calls for a special mention. My nephew is now a teenager!

When I was growing up, being a teen was like some sort of a super power on campus.

I love how my nephew and I can talk about things that we both feel passionate about. Okay, time zones pose a problem but our conversations around films always end with his verdict about the finest nuances that my old eyes would miss!

AND I had to look back at his baby pics and share this with you, my dear Reader.